Tag Archives: secret to achieving goals

The Power of Reflection: The Greatest Tool We Can Use to Achieve Our Goals

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Our minds really enjoy a good book—meaning that our minds love things that have a beginning and an ending. In fact, we love it so much it can often become our downfall. I have not worked with a couple who didn’t have an initial goal when they decided to get married to have a happy marriage. However, life is much more fluid than books and it is often not full of neat and tidy beginning and endings. Even the seasons in the weather have transitions. For instance, my daughter was born on April 7th. On any calendar regardless if the groundhog saw his shadow, April 7th is most definitely spring. In fact, the calendar will tell you that the first day of spring is actually March 19th. But the night she was born, it snowed. And it shouldn’t snow in spring. But this is a good reminder of what progress looks like. It is in constant motion and not something that we can necessarily control. But there is one strategy that makes all the difference with our minds and it is something that we can control: the ability to reflect. This is the tool that actually provides the most success in establishing, monitoring, and creating the happy endings our minds desire.

Reflection is a vital tool for success in any goals. It takes honest reflection to evaluate where you are and where you want to go. What do you want to see happen? What are the desires of your heart? How do you want things to be? I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is to think that you only reflect once in order to create or set your goals but true success lies in learning to reflect more often.

Modern travel is a great way of showing the value of reflection. If Christopher Columbus never checked and made course corrections, it is safe to say that he never would have landed on the island. Planes in order to reach their destination or goals constantly are reverting back to their flight plan to make sure they are in alignment and traveling to where they want to go. Reflection is a tool that does the same things for the goals we have for ourselves. It is important to be able to check in and ponder or reflect on where we are in our progress with our goals in order to determine if we are indeed progressing where we want. We might not be able to control how fast we arrive at our destinations, but we can always control which way we are facing and that alone is the most important factor for reaching our intended destination.

If you continue on the path that you are on, where are you going to end up? Is that where you want to be? A reflection question that I have asked couples I have worked with is, “If everything stays the same as it is now and nothing changes, what is going to be the end result?” It takes a conscious decision to make a change in your life. But it requires reflection in order to see what changes need to be made. It is helpful to know that you can continue to change as you continue to reflect and make course corrections.

Reflection allows you to put yourself in the equation. If you want to be change the result or the answer in an equation, you do not need to change all of the variables. You only need to change one thing on the right side of the equation and the result is guaranteed to be different. If your goal is to have a healthy and happy marriage, what are you doing to make that happen? Reflection allows you look to yourself to be the change that will change the result.

Events in our lives often cause a reflection. Getting pulled over for a traffic ticket, finding out a loved one is in the hospital or that they suddenly passed away or hearing the words, “You have cancer” will cause us to stop and reflect on our lives. However, you do no need to wait for an event such as these to be able to reflect and make sure your life is in alignment and headed in the direction that you want.

So, make a time for reflection. Whether it is part of your daily commute, while you exercise, while you take a shower, while you fold laundry or while you take communion or the sacrament. Reflect on where you are in your goals and whether or not you need to make any course corrections. Ask yourself if there is something you should stop/start doing that would make you more successful at your goals. We are all works in progress and goals help us become better versions of ourselves. Consistent reflection allows us to be more mindful and successful at progressing in our goals. It really is the greatest tool we can use.

The Secret to Achieving Your Goals

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Simply put and summed up in one phrase, the secret to achieving your goal is this: “Put it out there.” There are a million different reasons that we tend to keep our hopes and our dreams in our mind–a place that no one can really know what we are thinking or wishing will come true. We aren’t really held accountable to anyone and we can keep our goals and our progress (or lack of progress) on them to ourselves. Sometimes our dreams seem so large we are not sure how we are going to get there and so we seek to solve that conundrum by ourselves. Sometimes we are not sure if our dreams are even possible. There is no guarantee that we will achieve them but there is a guarantee that we won’t if we don’t put them out there.

I’m not sure at what age we loose the ability to dream big but spending time with Kindergarteners today reminded me of that joy as they have no qualms about dreaming big or sharing their ideas. “I want to be a doctor!” “I want to be a race car driver!” They proclaim their dreams with eager anticipation to anyone who will listen.This is a valuable skill that if we kept would propel us towards those goals no matter what they may be and even if they were to change.

In fact, researchers have found that putting your goals out there is more helpful than we might realize. The reason that support groups— whether they be for weight loss or grief or pornography addiction are so successful is that they are prime examples of putting your dreams or goals of change out there and by sharing them with others. This makes you accountable not only to yourself but to others as well which is a powerful motivator to pursue your goals.

So, here is today’s Tuesday Tip: Put Your Goals Out There.

A wise person once said that goals are dreams on paper. Get your dreams on paper. Spend sometime writing them down. This is the step one of every dream. This doesn’t mean you won’t have to work for them but goals help to guide the direction of your life and are a way to measure if you are moving in the right direction.

Then, put it out there and share your dreams and goals like you were a Kindergartener again. The more you get out of your head and put words to your ambitions, the more likely you will achieve your desired outcome. So, mention to a trusted friend or colleague that you are thinking about asking for a raise at work, or mention to your spouse that you are going to make an effort to make date nights and cultivate your relationship, or to someone you want to be in your corner with you that you are going to go running three times a week.

The path to achieving your goals is not meant to be a smooth road and there are no guarantees for success but the process to become better at anything requires goals and dreams. In fact, everything is a process. Winston Churchill one said, “Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” So, take the courage to put it out there. It is the only way to get the results that you want and the secret to achieving them.